The DBZ Friends
by SonRobyn
Summary: My first story so be nice please!Goku, vegeta, krillin and gohan live in one apartment, Bulma, 18 and chichi with goten live in another. I might make a series out of this, but ill see if you guys like it first! Disclaimer: I DONT OWN DBZ! Review please!


**The Pointless Saga**

_In the boy's flat, Goku is lying upside down on an arm chair, a play station controller in his hand, Vegeta is having a staring contest with himself in the mirror, Gohan is sewing himself a new cape and Kuririn (sorry KRILLIN) is dex waxing his head._

Goku - (mumbling to himself with sweat dropping off his face) Ohh i'm gonna get you, you stupid bandicoot, I'm gonna get you good...

Vegeta - (looking in the mirror) Whose the most beautif- uh handsome prince of them all, you are, oh yes you are winks

Gohan - (thinking to himself )I cannot believe dad ripped my cape...

Krillin - Hey Gohan...can you see your reflection in my dome?

Gohan - (brought out of his thoughts) Wah? Oh yeah sure Krillin, you shine brighter than dad did when he dove into that vat of grease..wait...why do you want to shine?

Krillin - Well uh, 18 likes to uhm...fix her hair a lot, so maybe if she could see her reflection...then she's uh..look at me more?

Gohan - (completely dumbfounded) ...Krillin...I don't think tha-

Goku - (suddenly coming out of his video game trance) KRILLIN! How could you?! You complete idiot!

Gohan - (in shock) Dad...wow you actually have an intelligent opinion I'm so pr-

Goku - Use grease, oh your such an amateur! Honestly, am I the only intelligent person here?!

(theres complete silence, a tumble weed rolls by, goku looks around and blinks violently)

Goku - ANYWAY, i think i should take you into town and pimp yo' out, what do ya think kril-dawg?

Krillin - I uh...i don't know about that goku...last time you destroyed a burger king and cost us over $50,000...

_Flashback_

_Krillin is driving up to a Burgerking drive through, Vegeta is in the passanger seat, Gohan is in the back with Goku whose trying to give him a wet willy_

Burger king guy - Hi can I take your order?

Krillin - yeah, i'll have 20 big mac meals,10 double cheese quarter pounders, 12 extra orders of fries, 8 orders of chicken bites and uhh...goku, do you want a kids meal?

Goku - (singing) B.I.N.G.O, B.I.N.G- huh? wah oh yeah, and I want the Chuckie toy, I swear to God if I get Tommy or anyone of those other pathetic rugrats i will SMITE you!

Gohan - dad...maybe...you should sit down...your ass is in my face...

Goku - And i will smite you go- eh huh? ohh right, sorry Go-dawg, (realizes hes hanging out Krillins window, flattening him)..i'll just take my seat...

Burger king guy - (terrified) uhm...yes...will that be all s-s-sir? (shaking violently)

Krillin - Yeah thanks

Goku - and i want a smarty mcflurry!!

Burger king guy - Sir...this is burgerking...we don't do mcflurrys

Goku - (stops what hes doing, coldly stares at the BKworker )what do you mean...you...don't...do...MCFLURRYS?!

Vegeta - for Christ's sake Kakarot sit your fat ass back down, this is burger king, only mcdonalds do mflurrys, and we are NOT going to mcdonalds.

Goku - (slaps Vegeta) Be quiet, Veggie...this is between me...and the enemy (blasts out of the car causing it to burst into flames and burn to the ground leaving a smouldering Krillin, Vegeta and Gohan behind) Listen you little acne infected burger slave, I want my mcflurry, and if I don't have it in my hands in 5 minutes I will do strange and terrible things with your rectum, do I make myself clear?

BKguy - ...yes...very well sir...I'll just go get your mcflurry

Krillin, Vegeta and Gohan - (covered in black smoke and soot) ...

Gohan - ...i didnt know he knew the word rectum...

Krillin -YOU STUPID BASTARD YOU BLEW UP MY CAR!

Vegeta – Did he just call me Veggie?! (realizes his hair is burning my hair!) my beautiful hair ahh (foaming at the mouth)

Goku - don't worry crome dome, your insurence will cover that! it's all good in the hood...Hmm...My goku sense is tingling, it's been 2 minutes...that kid had better get here or so help me god I'll go Jackie chun (xD) on his ass

Krillin -...(has no idea what Goku is talking about) Goku...this is the 5th car you've blown up...INSURENCE DOES NOT COVER YOUR STUPIDITY

Goku - (ignoring him) ahhh here he comes now...yes...and we want the drinks to be cokes, we'll just pick it up at the next window, thank you!

Gohan - we're going to have to carry all this home you know? Vegeta wont sit in..he thinks everyone stares at him..

Vegeta - Where is that fool Kakarot? I'm going to end him..

Goku - (looking for his toy) Hmm..lets see, ohh Tommy..WHAT?! TOMMY?! Oh that is it! (charges up a ki blast)  
KAAAA MEEE HAAA MEEE...

Gohan - DAD NO, ITS THE ONLY PLACE WE ARENT BANNED FROM!

Krillin - (fed up) ...why even bother..

Goku - HAAAAAA (blows up Burger king, leaving all the people inside, smouldering and bald with no eyebrows) HA take that Colonel Sanders! you chicken molester! BAHAHAHAHA (flies off laughing like a maniac)

Krillin – Is Colonel Sanders not th- OH WHATS THE POINT...hes an idiot. My poor baby, my poor poor baby (looks longingly at whats left of his car)

Gohan - this...is going to make a deep impact in our savings

Vegeta - (shaking his fist) THAT STUPID BASTARD! that money for my botox...oh the humanity! (weeps)

Krillin - ...

Gohan - ...

Piccolo - (wearing a kinky biker outfit singing) Young man! theres no need to feel down, i saiiiddd young man, pick yourself off the ground! (doing the YMCA dance)

Gohan - where...the hell did you come from? and when did you turn gay?

Vegeta - (regaining his composure) he's been after Krillin for years, isnt it obvious?

Piccolo - (wiggling his ass in front of krillin singing) Ma humpppss, ma humps, ma humpss!

Krillin - NOOO SHIELD MY EYES!

Vegeta - (blasts Piccolo)

_End of flash back_

Gohan - what did Piccolo have to do with the burger king thing?

Krillin - Be quiet you

Goku - GOHAN! this is a job for Super Goku! Lend me your cape offspring of mine!

Gohan - no...no dad...no super Goku today

Krillin - awh well...too bad (grinning)

Goku - no way! I'm not having you embarrass us with your silly dex wax idea, 18 will never fall for that! When i was trying to get into Chichi I...Chichi (lies in the fetal position weeping violently) WHY CRUEL WORLD?!?!

Vegeta - get up Kakarot that is no way for a Saiyan warrior to act!

Gohan - dad,you can't blame her for leaving you, you shaved her head while she was sleeping, to try and make yourself a fake beard...

Krillin - ...a fake beard? what the hell..

Goku - that damned beard! (pulls beard from nearby drawer) how you ruined me! You must die..you...must...DIE! (gets up and runs towards his room, slipping in the process and falling out the window)

Krillin - well, that was unexpected

Gohan - what are you talking about?! He does this every freakin' day!

Vegeta - (looking out the window) the birds shit on him again

Krillin - i'm gonna go to the girls place...

Vegeta & Gohan - me too!

* * *

_At the girls place_

Bulma - (drunkenly) You know...I really love you!

ChiChi - (standing in the door way with shopping bags) we really have to stop leaving her alone by herself...

18 - Yeah I agree

Goten - (looks afraid) i'm gonna go play in my room momma

Chichi - okay sweetie

Bulma - ohhh what a sad life i lead! Controlled by my love for alcohol!

Chichi -I'll go make some coffee

Bulma - I think i'm going to be sick

18 - uh..well...maybe you should go to the bathr-

Bulma - (vomits exorcist style over 18)

18 - ...

Bulma - (hiccups)

18 - DIE BITCH (blasts her)

Chichi - 18! what did i tell you about firing energy blasts at Bulma?

18 - sorry chichi..

(knock knock)

18 - I'll get it... oh hey guys! wheres Goku?

Krillin - he fell out the window again...

Chichi - again? God...its a wonder hes alive

(Goku bursts through the door)

Goku - why hello my little minions

Goten - Daddy!

Goku - ah my wonderful son, the apple of my eye, the handsome devil himself, ohh your lucky you look like me and not the wench!

Chichi - (smacks Goku with a frying pan, knocking him out) asshole

Gohan - (stepping over Goku) Im gonna make a phone call

Goku - JEHOVA! SAVE ME JEHOVA (twitching violently in his unconscious state) NOOOOO NOT MY BEARD! ANYTHING BUT THAT!

Chichi - (eye twitches) that beard...

Goten - (jumps on him) wake up daddy!

Vegeta - (sees Bulma) Woman, bring me a feast

(Bulma punches Vegeta square in the face, breaking his nose)

Goku - (wakes up ah)...i must have fallen asleep

Goten - daddy daddy did you get me the power ranger?

Goku - I sure did little guy, here you are!

Goten - (looks at it the toy as his face starts to crumble) I SAID THE RED POWER RANGER YOU'RE A BITCH DADDY! (throws the toy at Goku which hits him directly in the balls and runs off crying)

Goten - help...me...

everyone - (Laughing hard)

(Piccolo comes in wearing a fruit hat dancing)

Piccolo - AY AY AYYYY, HA CHA CHAA

Everyone - ...

Gohan - (on the phone) oh really...no one home, i'll be round in 5 minutes! Mom! I have to go, i'll be back in an hour

Vegeta - Why am i, the prince of ALL Saiyans forced to socialize with a shiny bald midget, a gay Namekian, a horny teenager and a retarded clown of a saiyan? (patriotic music starts to play) You know its times like this, when I remember my father and all he stood for. Everyone bowed to him, he wasnt forced to wear pink shirts and to share an apartment with a bunch of idiots, he was free, to do whatever he liked, Whether is was watching the sports centre or just gazing at himself in his mirror room. He was a rea-

(record scratch is heard and music goes off)

Bulma - Who wants whisky?

Vegeta - COME HERE BABY! (dives on the bottle head first)

Goku - he has a problem

18 - Goku, you are a problem

Krillin - yeah I agree with 18 (rubs his head suggestively)

Chichi - ...

Goku - ...

18 - (vomits)

Goku - I think i'll go back to our place, i havent added to my toe nail collection in a while you know. Bye guys! Oh and by the way, your hair grew back quickly Chi!

Chichi - it's a wig Goku...(reaches for frying pan)

Goku - (looks uncomfortable and frightened) anyway, bye all! (slips in 18s vomit and falls out the window killing to people in the process)

Everyone except Vegeta - ...

Vegeta - (downed 3 litres of whisky) I feel preetttyyyyyy oh so prettttyyyyy..

* * *

**Yeah, so it's pretty shite, but it's my first one and i'll get better i promise! a review wouldn't hurt either heh :) any advice given will be appreciated. Ta veryy much, bayee**


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